well my scale was set to 4 pounds below zero...  ha ha my little motivating factor in losing weight.  but today i guess it got nudged or something because it moved up to 3 below zero.  which is ok because i guess i wanted to move it back to regular zero at some point...  anyways so long story short i am back to 153.

i gained a pound and then the scale went up too, so total of 2 lbs.

it's better than moving it all up 4 pounds at once though.

I have been having trouble sleeping the last 2 nights but jennifer increased my neurontin and last night was better, thank god. 

it is hard to feel your healthiest when you can't sleep.

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not sure what was bothering me... 

feeling a little nervous about creekside and working there i guess worrying about the people there if they are unstable or not.

and then wanting to go to the palomar on friday.  people from rueda are going.  and then i invited lea over for dinner on fri but then we both kind of flaked because she scheduled a massage and i never called and reminded her because i wanted to go to the palomar so i feel kind of mean about that.

i want to take the time to connect and talk to my friends.  i think it would have been good for me to have lea over on fri, but i am planning on going to a party on sunday so maybe i can talk to people then, but a party isn't really a great atmosphere to connect...  but its better than nothing.

i guess i would like to make plans to hang out with a friend one-on-one and have some conversation.

i don't like to have anxiety...  i need to do something to deal with it, like restorative yoga (I wish my studio offered that) or massage...  I think the unlimited program only offers about 2 massages per month. 

I just tried to schedule another massage with nourish during my trial unlimited massage month.  we'll see if i am able to.

:)

what are other ways I could de-stress?

-eat lots of small meals.  maintaining even blood sugar helps to stay in control.  also shown to improve memory!!  :)  (eating small meals that is)

- meditation

- exercise

- time w/ friends or family (dont isolate)

- restorative yoga poses (just at home...) 

-journaling